Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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