Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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