woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
