bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
