If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
