Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
