My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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