She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
too bad you live with your parents still
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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