This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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