...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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