She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize