Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
did you get engaged???
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was like having sex with a tree stump
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
