Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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