actually, I'm a sock model
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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