they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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