Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
