I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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