So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize