I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
