Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just googled if crying burns calories
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize