I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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