Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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