i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
