The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize