I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize