would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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