About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
