I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Your dad touched me again.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
