We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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