Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
