I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
