glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
