Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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