I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Even my vagina gasped.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My vagina is officially offended.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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