I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
