i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
