his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
