just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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