Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
