I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
