dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
