Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize