I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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