she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
