Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
