Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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