seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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