I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You took a bar mat shot.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
