Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
