dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize