i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
