Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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