I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
