I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
