I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
