Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
