i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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