Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
